24 June 2008

No Use Crying Over Spilled Education

So I started crying in the middle of the restaurant at dinner tonight. It was kind of embarrassing. I wasn't like bawling though, so I don't think that too many people noticed.
My mom and I were talking about the future, and what I'm going to do and I just got so upset I couldn't hold it in. And let me tell you I'm not really the crying type. I just felt so upset with myself, for screwing things up so badly, and getting myself into this mess. I've gotten myself all worked up, convinced that I wont be able to go back to a real university after I finish my stint at community college, that I wont be able to get into grad school, just that my entire life is now ruined. Which is a little melodramatic but I tend to be just a littttle melodramatic. I cant help myself.

But we'll see I guess. I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything but I AM smart. I got a 2100 (1420) on my SATs. That has to count for something, right? And I got invited to the honors program at the comm college, which I'm going to look into a little more come fall. Ugh I don't know. I'm just scared I fouled up everything. I have big plans for my future. Or I did.

Anyway enough with emo E, its now officially "late as fuck" and this is a useless post, much like the previous one. Goodnight.

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