The World is a Weird Place

I knew my math class was going to suck when I picked up my book from the bookstore and it had a picture of a cow standing in front of a metro car on it. Not only that, but the metro car had math equations and symbols "graffiti'd" all over it. Two words immediately sprang to mind: Oh. God.

And don't even try and tell me I "shouldn't judge a book by its cover." Not only is that not even remotely witty, its false. That little cliche may be applicable to people, but as far as actual books go, its usually very accurate to judge one by its cover. I mean, thats basically the whole purpose of a book cover. Duh.

At any rate, my judgment of my math class was pretty spot on. It sucks. A lot. Granted, a large part of that probably has to do with the fact that its essentially my second time taking this class, and I already knew most of the material the first time around. I suck. Oh well. Even beyond that though, it's kind of lame. Its a six week class so there's only so much we can cover, and I feel like the stuff we've covered is stupid. The teacher is a nice guy but he looks like Santa Claus on vacation and is one of those teachers who likes to go off on tangents and "prepare you for life in general" as opposed to just teaching you math. Which I guess is good, but it just kind of gets old.
The good thing though, is he says "similarly." I swear, every math teacher I've ever had says "similarily" and I'm like THATS NOT A FUCKING WORD. I know you're a math teacher but I mean come onnnn. Basic English. You shouldn't be allowed to graduate college if you think "similarily" is a word.
And then the people. Not to sound like a bitchy diva or anything, but I don't really like people and I just want to sit in my back corner and not talk to people. But apparently people talk to me. On the first day I made a point to sit away from everyone; by the third day or so, like half the class was sitting around me. Whateverrr. They aren't so bad really. But I'm not trying to make any friends. My mom gets mad at me because I'm always such an ice queen when we're out in public but I don't know, I just want to avoid talking to people I guess. I have pretty bad social anxiety.

At least its almost over. Final on Monday, I should ace it. Because I'm awesome.


In other news, my mom got approved for the townhouse she wanted, its really cute and the location is great. Its pretty exciting. Almost enough to counter-act how upset I am about the sale of the house. Almost.

Last thought for the day, community college is such a weird place. The variety of people is overwhelming almost, and its just strange. Today in the bathroom there was a box to a "balloon fun kit!" I was just like...what. I guess its a good experience for me.

I miss university.

No Use Crying Over Spilled Education

So I started crying in the middle of the restaurant at dinner tonight. It was kind of embarrassing. I wasn't like bawling though, so I don't think that too many people noticed.
My mom and I were talking about the future, and what I'm going to do and I just got so upset I couldn't hold it in. And let me tell you I'm not really the crying type. I just felt so upset with myself, for screwing things up so badly, and getting myself into this mess. I've gotten myself all worked up, convinced that I wont be able to go back to a real university after I finish my stint at community college, that I wont be able to get into grad school, just that my entire life is now ruined. Which is a little melodramatic but I tend to be just a littttle melodramatic. I cant help myself.

But we'll see I guess. I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything but I AM smart. I got a 2100 (1420) on my SATs. That has to count for something, right? And I got invited to the honors program at the comm college, which I'm going to look into a little more come fall. Ugh I don't know. I'm just scared I fouled up everything. I have big plans for my future. Or I did.

Anyway enough with emo E, its now officially "late as fuck" and this is a useless post, much like the previous one. Goodnight.